At the Cross: In Love With the Minister

A friend of mine, we’ll call him John, is in love with a minister. The minister is also in love with John. The irony of this little mix is that the minister is comfortable being in love with John, but it’s John who’s having trouble with the relationship.

The trouble John’s having with this on- - off- - on again love affair is not so much about him being in love with a minister, but the fact that a minister would be in love with him, that a minister would be gay.

John says he’s traditional and he can’t come to terms with the idea of a minister who’s gay, so he’s finding it hard to respect the minister.

Now of course John has all the right in the world to his view of what a minister should be, but he says he’s sick over the relationship. And it’s true, because John has a heart condition and suffers from high blood pressure. He’s been in and out of the hospital since embarking on this affair. He is, in fact, literally making himself sick over all this.

A few weeks ago, he and I talked about the relationship and it left me wondering, is it the minister he disrespects most, or is it himself? What person would deny love, especially to the point of causing physical illness, in order to hold onto tradition, especially a tradition that denies him the right to live a full life? One that demands his service but tells him he shouldn’t exist? Is such a tradition that important?

Well, to many, yes. We often hold on to traditions that don’t serve us well.

In general, tradition is hard for some people to break since it creates part of the framework in which our lives have been cultivated from the day we’re born. But when do we step back and say ‘hold on this simply doesn’t work for me’. How can we come to that point?

I believe if John would simply realize who he actually is as opposed to who others say he is he would have the strength to carry on with this relationship. If he would only know that the tradition he holds onto cannot define him, he would liberate himself.

He should realize that the tradition he’s embracing was started by tribal people thousands of years ago who sought to form a nation, therefore, propagation was essential. That’s not the case today. He should also realize that this tradition, this tradition that defiles him cannot in any way be substantiated, at least not in a spiritual sense.

As well, John needs to have something substantive to replace the views he currently hold. There are many views out there to support him, he only needs to look. He needs to step outside the box and look around. It’s not so scary outside the box.

Then there’s faith. John needs to exist on faith, not belief. In a piece I posted at my site (WWW.Dougcooperspencer.Blogspot.Com) a while ago entitled ‘Manifesto: A Cause for Life’ (September 8, 2007), I mentioned the difference between faith and belief. Belief is wanting things to be as you've been told they should be and faith is letting go of expectation, to be able to throw your arms open and accept what is not known or understood. Faith is what John needs to see him through, not belief. He would gain more of the full life God intended for him if he turned more to spirit, the essence that informs his life, and less to religious tradition, the constructs of cultural and social (and economic) design.

Will my friend, John, get past his self imposed prison and love the minister back? I don’t know. I think he’ll try, but I’m not sure how successful he’ll be. But John, if you’re reading this, I have just three words for you: Love, Faith, and Spirit.

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At the Cross: In Love With the Minister

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